TWIU: Episode 18: Play Better Offense

REE: What's up Warriors? I hope that you are well and continuing to do what we're all trying to do here and that is thrive okay so if you're new welcome and if you've been hanging out with us if you've been following along if you've been listening if you're subscribed if you're following if you're liking if you're sharing if you're on this journey yourself you're a Warrior okay welcome and hello I am one of your hosts Renee and I want to thank you so much for tuning in for today's episode. Okay, so in today's episode we are gonna be talking about a common theme I believe that we face in the journey to parenthood when it's dark, when it's desolate, when it's debilitating, and especially when you are a believer, okay. When you're a believer, I think we suffer or we face the this thing a little bit more often. and what is that? Being up and down, tossed to and fro. One minute we're strong, the next minute we're weak. One minute we're believing, trusting, praying, the next minute, it's like He gon' do it or He ain't. And This impacts us, okay. This causes us to be unstable in a lot of ways. And if you have found yourself there, or your loved one has been there, then keep listening. we're gonna talk about what the Lord has revealed. About this particular topic and how we Can work so that that we're stable, that we're sure. And that's where we thrive, okay? Alright. Let's get into it. A couple of months back, I started to really just pay attention to myself, right? And I believe that the Lord revealed things, right? And one of those things, or the primary thing that the Lord revealed to me in this time of reflection, whatever we want to call it, is that You up and down, you high and low. You know. One minute you standing firm on the promises that I made you the next minute, you don't have no hope for it. The next minute you numb. Okay. That's problematic. You cannot thrive like that, honey bun. And God is always right, okay. Reflecting Alright, you are so right. You're right. I think about last year, okay. Our church, we do in September we'll fast pray and we have a shut-in, okay. This typically happens in September. And I think about last September. I remember one of my one of our members came to me and they told me something and it was like, Okay. All right. Look, look. Okay. I think yay. agree with that. Okay, like like I received that. and I remember I Holy oil, right? Praying, right, And I don't know if it was last year or the September before that, but like I started taking prenatals, okay? And I'm laughing. It's not funny, but it's you got to laugh, okay? You have to laugh. I started taking prenatals and I'm like, this is about to this is about to happen. And Got my period a couple of weeks later. Okay, not a couple, but like two or three. And it was like Stop taking those prenatals. Okay. I stopped Praying over my womb with the holy oil. Chao. I hadn't fasted in a while, A number of things. And I was low, I was on a low. I was just down like you know. Gog gon' it or he ain't. I can't I don't I like I'm not holding this. I don't have room for hope about this particular thing right now, like. But I do know that God can do whatever He wants to do. Right. and It would be like a repeating cycle, okay. I think about several times in my journey where it was like, I wanted the promise from the Lord myself. Like I don't wanna hear what somebody else said. Well like what somebody else said the Lord told them, like I want the Lord to make the promise to me, right? I want the promise because what? God is a promise keeper, okay? I serve a God who never fails. I serve a God who always keeps His promises. I serve a God who Whose promises are yes and amen. Okay, like it's done and it's done. And so I knew that if I if I knew that if I got that, it's you know, done done. i i remember when i even got the promise and i praised and shouted so great okay And And then like months went by after that. And you know, I kept getting my period. And I was like, okay, well. Well, maybe that maybe maybe that wasn't the promise, you know what I'm saying? And so then I'm low again, right? And when I say low, like I'm depressed. And it's like when you're depressed, you don't have you you're hopeless when you're depressed. You're pessimist. You are unenthused, right? indifferent and the cycle will go on And again, I know that guy's a promise keeper, right? I know this. It wasn't that I forgot. It's just I stopped reminding myself that He's a promise keeper, right? So when a promise was fresh, I was reminding myself, right? You know, and then and then doing all of the things that I need to do, that I know I need to do to remain open and close to God. And so because I wasn't doing these things, the next thing you know, I'm back low again, you know? And There are a lot of different things that can bring us there on this journey to parenthood. Whether it's seeing other people with their kids out in public. For women, You start that period. Then you're down, right? It it could be anything a a lot of different things. what I have Come to accept. Right. And then the la and I say the last couple of months the Lord was showing me that I can be really unstable in this thing and I cannot thrive in that way. And I wanna thrive. I wanna be everything, I wanna do, everything that I've been sent to do. Period. I wanna do it. And I cannot do it. Can't give my best if I'm not well, right? Like I don't know what the Lord has in store for The Warrior In Us I know that I'm a dreamer. So I see a lot, you know. We doing all the things, okay? We we we having we hosting conferences and different states in the US out out in other countries. We doing great big things with The Warrior In Us okay? But I don't know what the Lord wants to do and what his plan is for this ministry. But what I do know is Depression takes me off my mark. Weariness takes me off my mark. Not keeping with those routines that I know are gonna help me takes me off my mark. And when you're not on your mark, I talked about this. When you're not on your mark, the Lord can't do what He needs to do in the room. If he sent you there and you not on your mark. Does that make sense? God is God, so God will get it done. But the point is, you were chosen. I was chosen. We were chosen for specific things. And when we're high and low and up and down and joyful one day and weary the next and joyful in July and gray in December. It's like mmm. We don't know what opportunities are being missed when we let weariness control our lives like that, right? And depression and weary weariness to me go hand in hand. They're they're they're they're the same or they're synonymous with each other. Right? Usually if you're depressed, you're weary. Usually if you're weary, you're depressed. And I don't know about you, but for me, it it will feel like I'm in this ping pong match. because I don't want the weariness. And I'll be like, you know, like get away from me. But the the weariness it it always tries to come back. It always tries to hold me down, it always tries. Because and I've said this before, right? It's a part of a plan of attack up against my life, right? Something does not want me to be strong in the Lord, in my word, fasting, meditating on scripture day and night, head over heels in love with my Heavenly Father. His son and his holy spirit. You know, something does not want me to be there. And also, Something doesn't want any of us there, right? Because If we're there, we're able to help others get there. Right? And so what's that something? That something is the enemy, okay? And what is the enemy? The enemy is the devil. I don't know. We we gotta stop playing around and and stop acting like the devil is not real and demonic things are not real, they're real, okay? And it's a it's a it's a demonic realm that wants you off your mark and that wants you to be weary and that wants you to be depressed and to stay there so that you don't get help so that other people who need you to get your help so they can get their help won't be helped either. I hope that made sense. So I wanna be stable. That's what I decided. I made the decision and this time is different. Like I feel like I've made this decision before to be stable. Like I wanna be well and all of the things. Like I feel like I made this decision back in March. And if you listen to the last episode or not the last episode, maybe the last few. One of the last few, I told you what went on in March and what happened in It was like, okay, I got off that mark and here I am again needing to make the same to make another decision but to to stand firm on that decision so that I can thrive. Two weeks ago our church had a we partnered with another church Final Harvest from North Carolina And ever every year, Final Harvest they host a tent revival in partnership with another church somewhere else in another state or country, whatever, you know. this is what they do and this year our church was blessed to have them come to our church. And so, I never participated in anything like that before. And It's really hard to describe. What I will say is it was unlike anything that I had ever experienced or participated in before in my life. And let me tell you where I began. Like when I knew that this was happening, I felt some resistance within. Why? I don't really know. but if I had to say it was because I felt like I knew that this was gonna be a time where I will be on a high and have this expectation for God to move in my womb, right? And then it doesn't happen and I wanna say that this is not God's issue, this is my issue. Okay. I'm the one who puts God on a time clock. I'm the one who wants to control God. I'm the one who thinks that or thought that I had a better plan than God. and therefore it should be according to my will in my way, right? That's my problem. That's not the Lord's problem. so anyway, and I didn't I didn't want that to be the case this time around. Like, and So it was like this this resistance. But then when I got over myself, right, yes. And I started thinking about the people that number one, they don't know Jesus. And number two, they fell out of relationship with Him. Well let me focus on these people. instead of myself. And so that's where I went, right? So anyway, on the last day, the last day was Crazy. Good crazy. It was like wild, indescribable. And it started in that in that Sunday service, right? Because the last day was on a Sunday and and we had church and everybody came to service. And so that service was unlike any other church service that I ever have been to and that we had had at my church since I've been at my church and In it was in that service that I experienced the glory of God in a way that I had never experienced before. And it was like, wow. While service was going on, I just kept thinking like and in in being convicted, like, this is why you need to be on your mark. This is why you need to be on your mark. Because You are a vessel for people to get healed, delivered, and set free. And so you gotta make a decision. And you gotta stand on it. And then some more things happened after that, right? And it was like, yeah, like. You're right, Papa. You're sure you're right. I gotta make a decision that You are my firm foundation. You don't change. You never fail. And in this last two weeks or so, some scriptures have been coming to me. And all of them you know or you might know. And if you don't you will know them. think it was Monday, this past Monday, I was There's this song. I I think it's Maverick City Music and Travis Greene and it's Can't Take My Worship, right? And it's like The enemy tries to take a lot of things and even tries to take your worship, but don't let him don't don't let it, okay? Don't let it take your worship. If you got it, don't let it take it. Okay, seriously. but that song came on and it was like I was giving with God and I should say to God in a way that I know that I hadn't in a while. And it was like, why is that? Well, because I just didn't. You know what I mean? Because the weariness, the depression, the warfare too, okay. That caused me to not worship. And I'll take that back. That caused me to not praise because I was still worshiping. Yes, I could have been a ha a lot more consistent in my worship. I I didn't say it was consistent. I was worshiping. It's just the praise. The praise was minimal. but on Monday it was like I felt like I was praising with God or praising praising God. And like this feels good actually. You know? This actually feels good. Why? Why why wasn't I why wasn't I doing this? You know what I mean? And so anyway. in the time of reflection The Lord was revealing to me that there are systems and we've talked about systems before and in past episodes, there are systems and tool kits and things and boundaries that I gotta set for myself, that we have to set for ourselves. And I think about all of the times when I was really on a high, like when I felt so close to God. And what did those times involve or have in common? Well, first of all, they included me fasting or coming or right up out of a fast, right? Like I'd never I've never felt better than when I was in the middle of a fast or like coming right up at the end of it, you know, like never felt like more close than connected to God. And so what is what does that mean? I can't just fast when we have our shut in. I can't just fast when we have our our 21 days of prayer and fasting at the top of the year. And truthfully, last year, I think I said it before, I fasted so much last year, like I never fasted before. but it's like it's got to become That's a part of my regular lifestyle, right? And I recall having this conversation with somebody else. It's just gotta be something that we do because for me, this is what it takes for me to be close to God. For me. Not for God to be close to me, but for me to be close to God, okay? Takes fasting. It takes me listening to a a a like a forty-five minute sermon from somebody. You know what I'm saying? Or going back and listening to Sunday's sermon from my church. It takes me playing gospel and worship music in my house, in my office. It takes me taking a moment to just praise God. It takes me Getting out with my holy oil and getting in a place where I pray with power. It takes all of this and it's a lot. It takes all of this and it is a lot, but I know myself and I know that these are the things that I need to do in order for me to come off of the roller coaster, the ping pong match. For me to play great offense, I've got to do all these things. And, you know, I gotta be on the prayer line every time, right? Right? I gotta do more. Maybe there's another prayer line that I don't know about that I need to get up in, right? I need to see who's gonna play with me in person, right? Like, because y we we gotta play offense. Let's play great offense Warriors. I believe that if we start playing great offense, baby, God's gonna show out, okay? God's gonna show out because we'll be on our marks, okay? And when we on our marks, God can do anything, and let me tell you. I know this takes time. I think about I think it's Tasha Cobbs in one of her songs. She talks about it's a song with Mavericity Music actually. In The Room. And she talks about how she was in a dark place, She was depressed and dealing with rejection. And she would go out and do what she was sent to do. And people would get healed, they will get delivered, they will get saved, and they will get set free. And then she would go home All of the the darkness will just take over her. But when you're dealing with depression and you're dealing with darkness and you're dealing with anxiety, nine times out of ten you're not on your mark. Okay. When when that is taking a hold of you, you're not on your mark. But it don't mean now, I'm because that's why I brought up Tasha Cops, okay? It don't mean that God can't move because you when you're not on your mark. It don't mean that. It don't mean that God can't use you when you're not on your mark where you need to be and how you need to be. And it don't mean that even when you get on your mark, you won't face weariness. But When we have the right systems in place to play that to play the offense well. The up and down is less. The left and right is less. And it don't hold you like it it once had you before. And then you're able to get your deliverance and your freedom. You know, because you on your mark or you're you're getting there and you helping others get theirs will help you get yours. So I got a little bit off track. There are some scriptures that came up in all of this for myself. And I I remember yeah, can't take my worship and Don't know it was some mixed playing y'all. Actually, now that I think about it, it was some mix playing and then I heard the scripture. I heard the scripture, Isaiah 40, and he says, But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. I heard that. And I paused because that got real good deep down in my soul. Because The up and down, the high and low and all of that stuff, it comes because we're waiting. Right? You grow weary in waiting. You can get depressed and waiting. You can get low in waiting. And you can get unstable in waiting. And That is where we have to increase the trust we have in the Lord. Okay? And I and I think that's why that scripture just sat so so good in me because when when when I heard it and I paused, it's like I start thinking about the Lord and and who He is and His sovereignty and how he created everything and how there is just nothing that is too hard for Him. That's what I thought about and it's like, so why why why am I hung up on this? Why am I hung up on the seeming delay in my journey to parenthood like this. Like why why do why does this thing right here have so much of a hold on me and causes me to not trust God the way that I do in other areas. Right? Like And when I heard that in this when I heard that scripture in the song, it's like okay, so but why? Right? Because do you know who you're waiting on? Ha I'm getting I'm I'm I'm talking myself up now. Do you know who you waiting on? You waiting on the one who don't fail. And so I'm deciding to remind myself of who I'm waiting on every single day. Even when I might be in a place where I don't I feel like, I don't need a reminder. I know who I'm waiting on. I'm gonna remind myself because remember, it takes all of these things for me. Another one, I mentioned it in in the last episode is Galatians 6 9 and in the King James Version it's and let us not be weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap if we faint not. It's hard. I agree with you on that one. It's hard. But when we remind ourselves, who we're waiting on. That should light a fire up under us. And when that fire doesn't want to burn, okay. Mm scratch that. We should never allow ourselves to be in a place where that fire doesn't wanna burn and doesn't burn. That's how we be left and right to and fro, up and down. Because we've come in we've then come in agreement with the weariness. And you stay in weariness and depression too long, you gon' go down. So all this to say warriors, is feel close to the Lord sometimes you may not even feel right, but you know that you're close. Figure out what those things are. I told you it takes a lot for myself and Get in the habit of making those things a habit so that you're not up and down to and fro. And that's how we gon' thrive, okay? And another scripture that has come to me and comes to me regularly, right, is James one. specifically Verses seven and eight, but this scripture starts at verse five and it says, But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith, without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord. being a double minded man, unstable in all his ways. Okay. So I had to at one point, and I think this was the beginning of this year, it was like I was like, well, okay, if I got doubt well, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna go to the Lord. And and you know I'm saying I'm not gonna go to the Lord because if I got doubt, I ain't gonna get I you know the Lord ain't gonna give me nothing. And then I heard in some sermon it was explained like, no, the Lord is always giving. Mm-hmm. The Lord is always giving. It's just when you've got doubt, you're not always in a place to receive what He's given. Right? That's like In all of the times where I'm so full of faith and hope and all this stuff for my promise, the Lord be giving me things. It's just When there's doubt cannot accept and receive what it is that He's trying to give me. And honestly, some it's like, do you even want what He's trying to give? No, because you want what you want. And it's like, God does not operate like that. I don't wanna be double minded. I wanna be single-minded. Steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord. That's where I want to be. That's who I want to be. That's what I want to be on. That's I always want to be on that. I've I've given enough time to weariness and depression, I think. Okay. And yes, I was I'm talking specifically to those on a journey to parenthood, but truthfully, this is a this is a life thing. Okay. Depending on what kind of childhood you had, you likely have given depression and weariness a lot of time. A lot of time. Too much time. And enough is enough. And yes, I know things are a process, but what are you doing to make progress while you're in this process, right? And that is my challenge for you. What Tools, boundaries, etc do you have to have in your toolkit for you to be close to god to feel strong in Him and Be able to thrive where you are in your life. What do you need? Share with us. Leave it in the comments. Email it to us. Whatever. And it is my prayer that whoever needed this, they got something. And it is my prayer that you do the work, that we do the work. Because Time is running out. And if you know what I'm saying, then you know what I'm saying. And we gotta be on our marks and we gotta be ready. And I wanna be ready. I wanna be ready. Ion wanna be distracted. All days and always and forever. Okay. Alright. I'm done. I can go on and on. You know this. will see you in the next one. Okay. Be well, Warriors.