TWIU Episode 20: What It Takes PT. 2

RE: What's up warriors? I hope that you are well and that you are continuing to do the work to thrive in life. Okay. today we are back with part two. Maybe this is the final part. Maybe there's a part three. I don't know. we're going to continue our discussion and conversation about the facts. Surrounding the facts and the science surrounding what it takes to become apparent, okay. In in the natural, right? or I should say, in our own strength, right? Like if we say I'm gonna do it, like I'm gonna make it happen, and I don't need God to make it happen. That's crazy, but anyway, In part one, we discussed the natural way, right? With no medical intervention. And in today's episode, we're gonna talk about the second path, which is with medical intervention. And we may get to the third path, which is adoption, right? I hope that you have found this series educating, right? And I really, really hope that you're getting things that you didn't know prior to listening or watching these episodes, okay? Alright. Let's just get right into it, okay? So, if you listen to part one, you know that it takes so many things from the woman's body and the male's body to naturally conceive, and become apparent in the natural, right? And so I would say it doesn't matter where you begin, like which route you take. Nine times out of ten you start with trying the natural way, right? And depending on what you learn and you discover in those testing in the natural way, right? As a male, you may learn that you have a low sperm kind. out or you may learn that your your your sperm doesn't have the best motility right or you may learn that your fallopian tubes are closed or you may learn that you only have one fallopian tube right or you may learn that your ovarian reserve is low as a woman right you may learn a whole bunch of different things and that may cause the doctors to say well you you gonna need to do you're gonna need some medical intervention, right? There are a number of different medical interventions that that are that are available, right? Like so it you don't just have to jump to straight to IVF. hormones to take right so so it could just be some supplemental things like you take these you take these meds and then it'll get you there right another medical medically in assisted way is an IUI, right? And if you go back to our episode with Lexie, right, our our Warrior Lexie, then you can hear more about the the details and the steps and the things that lead up to IVF, right? And and we also had a another Warrior who discussed one of her babies came through IVF and and that was Sharday Part One. So if you go back to Sharday Part One, then you can get more more detail and then more detail from a person who actually experienced and went through IVF. You understand what I'm saying? because I have not personally gone through IVF. I have Not done an IUI. For me, IVF is just like I have my bones to pick with IVF because a lot of doctors they use it as a way, like they they play God with this thing, right? And IVF has been around a long time. We know that Michelle Obama had her kids through IVF. Okay, okay, you might not have known that, but yes, she had her kids through IVF. So IVF has been around a long time and it has helped so many people expand at to and become parents, right? But as you will also learn if you go back To either Lexie or Sharday's episode, you that IVF is no guarantee. And for me, it's like I don't want to go through spending thousands of dollars for something that is not a guarantee. And that's my thing. It's like, and then you play God and you're like, I can get you, you know, you're gonna get a baby. It's like, no, because God still has to bless all of this stuff, right? Like I like I wrapped up in in part one of the series is God has to bless it. It has to be in God's will. It all has to align. It can't just be like, the doctors are gonna make it happen, or you're gonna make it happen. So God is necessary and He is creation, right? If if He is the giver of babies and children, right, then we cannot exclude him from the process, right? so anyway, moving on. Today we're gonna specifically focus on the IVF. IBF path to parenthood and IVF stands for in vitro fertilization and this is a medical procedure whereby the doctors after a number of steps before right they will take a fertilized egg and place it directly inside of the uterus Although all of that happens, right, and that is a very simplified statement of what IVF is. There's so much that goes into it. Again, Lexie talked so much about it. Sharday talked so much about it. And so while contrary to a lot of people's beliefs, just like we need certain things in the natural, right? Like we need the uterine lining to be healthy and well and developed in the way that it needs to be. We we still need that for IVF, right? And if you talk to many of doctors, the many people who have tried IVF, they'll also tell you that the doctors will still say that you need to have a healthy everything for IVF to be successful, right? You still need to have a healthy weight, you still need to have a healthy lifestyle, you still need to be putting good into your body, you still need to be getting some movement and some exercise and you still need to be maintaining a healthy weight you still need all of these things for IVF. IVF is a stuff that you could take where you're doing all of the things, right? And It's not happening. And despite all of my bones that I have to pick with IVF, again, I will say that because God does bless it, God has blessed it for so many people. God has said, Yes, this is the way for so many people. God has given man and God has given man the technology and the the knowledge and the wisdom for IVF to be a even a thing to help those on the journey. See their dream of becoming a parent come to pass, right? So IVF can be a really beautiful thing. now we're gonna talk about in more detail a little bit of the steps for IVF like what it what IVF takes. First of all there are two different kinds of IVF conventional IVF, the doctors will put an egg in the dish and they'll put the sperm in the dish and they'll let they'll let nature take its course, right? Because these little organisms are very smart. They do what they've been sent here to do, right? And then the other the the other type of IVF is intracytoplasmic sperm injection. And that is where the doctors will specifically take a single sperm and inject it into an egg and cause fertilization to happen. That way, especially where there's like motility problems, right? meaning the sperm can't swim in the way that it was created to swim all right first of all You do a bunch of testing, okay, and I'm not gonna go into great detail because I did not go through IVF. but I know Warriors who did, and I have some research that we're gonna talk about, right? So, after you get through all of the testing and the doctors tell you whether you're gonna be a good good candidate for IVF or not, the first step is ovarian stimulation, right? And typically this happens Where and again go to Lexie's episode, right? On the third day of your menstrual cycle, women, you'll go into the doctors. Doctors will do some baseline blood work and they'll do an ultrasound and then they'll you'll you'll get some meds to stimulate and facilitate the production of eggs, right? To to boost your egg production. And all of those hormones we needed for the natural, right? The leuthanizing hormone, the follicle stimulating hormone, we need all that in this IVF cycle, right? Progesterone, we need all of that to be accurate in this in this cycle. And then once right you you'll go back in, right? You'll go back in in a couple of days. after you do your blood work and Your ultrasound, you go back in so the doctors can take a look to see how your eggs are developing, right? And once there are mature eggs that are present, the doctors will administer a trigger shot, right? And you get that trigger shot, and that trigger shot will cause ovulation and eggs to be released, right? And what you're looking for, you you want you you want mature eggs, you need mature eggs, you need the best of the best, right? For IVF, right, just like like in the natural for all this all this stuff to be successful. And then the next step will be retrieval of the eggs, right? So after thirty six hours thirty-six hours from retrieving the shrimp trigger shot. and by the way I'm gonna leave the link to where I found all this stuff at okay. thirty six hours after you receive the trigger shot then the doctors will will retrieve your eggs right and sometimes I I believe I'm I'm recalling from Lexie Lexie says sometimes they'll put you under sedation so for the retrieval i'm not gonna go into much detail about the retrieval all right They got to go where the eggs are at, okay? so after the eggs are removed, a bunch of steps go into this, right? And then at some point after the eggs are removed, you got the fertilization process. And that is where either they're gonna put some eggs in a dish with some sperm and let the things do what they do because they do what they do, or the things need a little bit more help, they will do a direct injection, right, into into the eggs to cause fertilization in that way. once fertilization happens, these little things are called embryos. All right, Somewhere around this point the doctors they'll offer genetic testing just to see, you know, what kinds of things, what kind of challenges, your embryo may have if they were actually to become a person, right? what kind of things would show up based on your DNA and your husband's DNA, women. There are a number of different things that the doctors can discover, right? Like cystic fibros fibrosis, sickle cell disease, Huntington's disease, some people they just wanna know these things, right? and and that's okay, you know, you you do whatever you wanna do. But after the embryos have developed, on approximately day five there will be a transfer, right? During this transfer the doctors are putting the embryos into the uterus, right? Okay, so they're putting them into the uterus for then one of two things to happen, right? For the embryo to attach and then the flip side of that is and when I say attach I mean implantation and the flip side is it's unsuccessful. That happens. Lexie's testimony tells us all about that. So if you haven't listened to Lexie's story, go back and l listen to Lexie's story. Okay. Two weeks from your embryo transfer, right? The two week wait, you're either going to have a positive pregnancy test, or you're gonna need to repeat the cycle. Okay. Now, there's so much that I did not get into because again, and with this process, I didn't go through it. But Lexie did, Sharday did. Go listen to their stories. I'm gonna keep on saying that. Some important things, which Lexi's testimony and Jardis testimony told us about the IVF process is that IVF can be extremely expensive. they can range the process can range from depending on where you are now, and I'm looking at United States statistics, from ten thousand to sixty plus thousand dollars, all to possibly potentially become apparent. So these are the things that you want to consider, right? Because There's no guarantee that you're gonna get a baby at the end of this process. and why I wanted to talk about IVF a little bit is because there's a misconception that people think, you do IVF, you're automatically gonna get a baby. And it's like, no, no, no, that's not how that works. God still has to bless it, God still has to say yes, it still has to be God's will and God's divine, and that's that's important when we get to a place. place in in this journey where we can say well I'm gonna take matters into my own hands and it's like well that's not really possible to take it into your own hands okay because because again there's so many things that go into pregnancy conception all the things that require divinity okay that just cannot be done without God I will go into the third path to parenthood because I'm on track. I got a little bit of time. Okay. so the third path to parenthood is the adoption process, right? And adoption is a process where a familial relationship is established through parents choosing their children, right? How beautiful is that? and for for a child to be chosen, How beautiful is that for a child to be chosen? So that's adoption simply, right? There are many, many ways we can get to adoption. And I'm gonna have a warrior come on here who can tell us more about her adoption story. I am we're gonna we're gonna have them on you. And and and I I know that I am like maybe a little bit woman biased but The warrior in us is for every husband and wife on the journey to parenthood and that journey looks diabolical. Okay. I've been I've been trying to see how I could use that word lately. so I may be a little bit woman biased and I may talk to women but it's probably because I think a lot of my audience right now is women. Okay, but it's gonna balance out. It's gonna balance out. Okay. So anyway, adoption. there is private adoption, right? And this is the thing that people do where they go to different countries or they go to different adoption agencies for if they want to go outside of the United States, right? They go they go to go through private agencies and there are a lot of challenges with adoption and adoption isn't isn't guarantee either all of this stuff God has to bless all of this stuff God has to say yes to right so there's private adoption and and we'll get more into that there is public adoption or fostering right where you you foster to to adopt the child let's look into what the private adoption process might might look like right and there are a number of different a number of different things that have to happen okay the first thing that has to be done be done is you if you're going through a private agency you submit an application Right. a lot of times they have you create a profile, right? What you're looking for. how old are you looking for and typically people are looking for infants right and that's hard I have read and listened to many stories about couples who were in the process and they were not chosen for what they were seeking, right? So they were not chosen for newborn. They me and you know, a lot of people they want a newborn. So, anyway, you you'll create your family profile. What are you looking for? You're gonna tell these mothers about you, right? And why should they choose you over everybody else for this little baby? Okay, and then the next thing you're gonna get into is a home study. And during a home study, so many things can happen, but I'll tell you. It's a pretty straightforward process, right? They're looking into your health, right? Your finances, right? They're gonna come to your house and see what kind of house what kind of home is this we're asking our this little being to be brought into, right? and once all of that is green lighted, and that can take a while. That can take a while. Home study can take months, depending on which agency you're going through. when all of that is done, it's like you get a green light. And then you're in a place where you're waiting for a mother to come across your family's pro profile, right? And then you might have a you might talk through text, you might do a phone call, you you just may start somewhere, you may do an email, right? To just feel one another out. if it goes well, you you get to meet, right? You get to meet with this mom. And and I would assume that when you get to a meeting, that means the communications or right, the text messages, the phone calls, the letters. And if the meeting goes well, this mom may choose you and it's not that she just chooses you because you have to choose the baby as well, right? Everybody's gotta choose everybody in this case. but also adoption looks a lot of different ways. And it's not always that the child is a baby, right? The child can be like five, six, fifteen. So let's say everything goes well, right? And in everybody's like in in the private adoption process, everybody chooses everybody, then then you're gonna need a lawyer because you've gotta finalize this thing and it's gotta be made legal. Now there are some things that I'm leaving out, right? Because I didn't go through the adoption process. I'm giving you the broad overview so you understand that Even adoption, there is no guarantee that it's gonna end the way that you desire for it to end at the end of the day. Especially where you say, I'm gonna take it into my own hands without God. Okay. So you get your lawyer, the the expect expectant mother will get a lawyer. Sometimes the expectant family pays for the medical bills for the mother. You understand what I'm saying? because I mean it is your baby and you would be paying for that baby, you would be paying for that if if you was the one giving the birth, so it's all it all makes sense. But anyway, Then you're just waiting for birth, right? You're waiting for birth and then birth happens. If it happens the way that is the beautiful way, right, then you get to go and get your baby immediately upon birth, right? Like you get to go and sit with the baby and hold your baby and do skin to skin with your baby if you're getting a newborn, right? And when the doctors give the ring light, you get to get you get to bring the baby home. Right, and and then after baby is home, I would say it may take a few months for the fine the adoption process to finalize and conclude and for there to be a court order stamp saying you are now the legal parents of this baby and for those of you who don't know and I what I don't like is when people say my adoptive parents or my adopted child it's like Because an adoption essentially severs all familial ties. Now no, we can't change blood, right? But an adoption essentially severs all familial ties from between a baby and their biological people and establish that establishes that familial relationship as if these other people who are and and you know you have to say as if the adoptive family were the ones who actually were the ones who gave birth right conceived and gave birth to the child that's what adoption does like it it it completely severs a relationship and mi with between the child and one family and establishes establishes it with another family. Okay. now we look at public adoption there are some differences, right? First of all, you start off with getting some information, right? With with your local agency wherever you're living at, right? if you decide that you want to proceed, then a lot of agencies require you to do some some training, right? So you do some trainings on what it takes to become a foster parent, right? To maintain that status as a foster parent. and this training can take a little bit of time, okay? And then if you're like, yeah, you want to continue to proceed, you'll go into a specific application to foster and adopt. through your agency and that is where you'll do a background check right and more paperwork and once all of that is completed you will go into what is called the home study process just like now that is similar to private adoption right you gotta do a home study and the same things are gonna be looked into right what is the environment what are the family dynamics what are the financial statuses what is the health status Of everybody, you know what I mean? Like, what is the makeup of the home currently? once all of that is complete, you're waiting for placement, people might say. if I want a kid, I can just go to my local I could just go to I could just go to child services, you know, I could just go to job and family services. But what people fail to realize is you don't always have the best experience going to going to job and family services. It's not always peaches and creams. Sometimes you you're dealing with children, they have so much trauma and you don't have what it takes to parent that kiddo with the trauma and the history that they have, right? And it's not that you're inadequate. It's just we're not super people, right? We we're not God. we don't know exactly the root of the issues that everybody is dealing with and then let's focus on the babies. We don't know what these babies have gone through. You know what I mean? And so So and and again, we don't have all the capabilities in the world to help this little baby, to help this young person, you know what I mean? And sometimes it just does not work out. And again, we're gonna have Warriors come on and talk about their stories and and and and in in their journeys to in their journeys of adoption for the ones who went this route, right? Just because you know you might think, yeah, they're crying over. I've heard this before. They're crying over having children, and they could just go. And get a child from children's services from the orphanage or whatever you know what I mean. But once again, you still need God to bless it because you need to be a right match and fit for a kid. And they need to be a right fit and match for you. There needs to be synergism when we're talking about adoption. If there's no synergism, the adoption will not to be successful. You understand? And then depending on the agency, sometimes agencies will tell you, well, you have to start with. fostering before you can move to adoption, right? And then that's hard because you get attached to these kids, right? And then their parents get on track and they get to a place where they need to be, which we want them to be, right? we want the parents to get well y yes, okay. And then they go home and they leave and then that hurts your heart. I couldn't do that personally. All right, no, I can't do that because I get attached and you know I can't see myself being a foster parent. I would be happy to go into more detail on these topics I just gave a general broad overview because again there is a lot of misunderstandings and misconceptions I don't know if that's the word but there are a lot of misunderstandings and myths about IVF adoption and those paths to parenthood and even the natural path to parenthood and that was the whole point of of of these episodes It's to just help us to shift our perspectives from saying, man has sovereignty in the process. We don't. We don't. If you got nothing else from these episodes, we w we don't have sovereignty here. God still has to bless. God still has to say yes and God still has to align and line up everything. Like, with IVF, that fertilized egg still has to implant, right? So it's a step that science cannot do for us there. Okay. only God can make a birth mom's heart choose your family in a private adoption. Only God can cause a bond so great between you and a child born into trauma. Right? and create that synergism so that blood wouldn't make you any closer to your baby or your baby any closer to you, right? Only God can cause the child to receive the love that you're giving him or her so that they can heal. as best as possible from the experiences they've had in the past, right? for couples on the journey, I would encourage you if you're still waiting and you're wondering, you know, which which move should I make now, pray. pray and ask the Lord to give you discernments, to speak to you about it, to give you direction about it, to give you clarity about which path is He calling you to. He will answer. We just have to be still. We have to be still and we have to get quiet and we have to eliminate those distractions that prevent us from hearing Him. Also hope that these episodes allowed for hope to come in. however, wherever, sometimes it's easy for us to lose hope that this journey will end in the way that we desire for it to end. To support systems. I hope that these episodes shifted your perspective about Conception and pregnancy and parenthood. I hope that these episodes will shift the words that you say out of your mouth. Okay. if your loved ones let you in In any way in this journey and you learn that one of the barriers for them in expanding their family and becoming parents is financial. Maybe you could be the one who says, I'm gonna lead a fundraiser for them on their behalf. Right? Because I love them this much. I want to help them this much. I'm gonna lead a fundraiser for them and we're gonna get them the money that they need. That would be so helpful for them. That would be one less thing that they got to think about in in their journey. this series also brought me back to the Burden is the Lord series because while there are many things that we can take in the human, in the in the natural, in the science realm, right, there are just some things that cannot be done if the father doesn't do it. And that again is why we can give the burden over to him and we don't have to carry it. Because it's not ours to carry if you recall that series. And if you haven't listened to the burden is the Lord's, go back and go back to the earlier episodes and and check that series out. the burden is God's, it's not ours. Okay, Warriors. I hope that this was beneficial for you. And until next time, be well.