TWIU Episode 8: Words Do Hurt!

Renee: What's up, warriors? I hope that you're well. Whether you have listened to prior episodes or this is your first episode, a warrior, Today's episode is titled Words Do Hurt. This episode is very significant because the purpose of warrior in us ⁓ is to To help go from a debilitating, and desolate to thriving in the waiting. Okay. Living a joy-filled, blissful life we wait for God to move in this specific area. Okay. This episode is important because one of the that really interfered with my to thrive here was the words from others ⁓ and the from myself, ⁓ whether they were my own thoughts that I repeated and had on a loop and especially particularly the words of others much damage was caused by ⁓ and I challenge all of us to more intentional about the words that we say out of our mouths. I challenge us to be more intentional with the things that we think about, Because... right, let's get into it. So ⁓ today's Anchor Scriptures. are going to come from james ⁓ james ⁓ chapter three Versus two through Words do hurt. starting at verse two. For we all stumble in many ways. anyone not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man able to bridle the whole body as well. Now, if we put the bits into the horses' mouths so that they will obey us, ⁓ we their entire body as well. Look at the ships also. though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder the inclination of the pilot desires. So also ⁓ tongue is a small part of the body and yet it boasts of great things. See how a force is set aflame by such a small fire, and the tongue ⁓ afire, the very of iniquity. The tongue is set among our members as that which defiles entire body and ⁓ on fire the course of lives, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who have been made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. We've got another anchor scripture Proverbs 18, 21. ⁓ Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. I want to reiterate James 3 and 8 but one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. Verse nine, with it we bless our Lord and father and with it we curse men who have been made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. I think that of the most sensitive people on happen to be women who are in the to parenthood. Our words really matter. We never know where someone is in this specific journey or where they are in their life. And should be careful, once again, to only speak words that edify and build up. And I think about the colloquialism the saying, Sticks and stones break my bones, but words will never hurt me. And when we think about this as an adult, when I think about this as an adult, just, ⁓ not true. I consider myself to be a sensitive person and then truthfully I think we're all sensitive if we want to admit it. If we're honest, words impact us And then when you're on the journey to parenthood, And this journey ⁓ dark, and What you hear, you think and what you say are extremely critical. I wanna just say we progress into this episode, this space is never not in any way attempted be a Woe is Me kind of thing. OK, We're not looking for sympathy. I do hope that this gives Because It's not the journey for most, but it's a journey for a lot. And it's just helpful to different perspectives. Knowledge is wealth. And also, understand that we can never experience exactly what someone is feeling, when you know better, you tend to do better. ⁓ You try to speak you try to be more intentional about the things that you say and how you interact with people. I do. And I like to think that other people, others do as well. Back to sticks and stones, We learn or we know from our scripture in James 3 verse 8 says, but no ⁓ can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. That's how we know words do hurt. Okay. What I have learned on my journey that words impact the speaker and they impact the hearer or the receiver of words. ⁓ And... The tongue is, we only got one, but it can cause so much damage and destruction. So we have to be careful. What I'm going to discuss now is some of the things that I experienced in my journey and specifically some of the words that were spoken to me in my journey. And then I'll talk about some of the things or thoughts that I said to myself that were hurtful, that were harmful. I'm going to drop any names on here, Because I've learned in this journey that some of the most hurtful things will come from the people that we love. And it's not they are intending to hurt us all of the time. A lot of it is, just not their experience. So they don't realize the impact of words, They just say things and... they don't appreciate the damage that it could cause and especially to a person who is on the journey parents. Okay. The first. ⁓ memory I have since I've been on this journey. I was getting my hair done. It was first time ever getting my hair done by this person. ⁓ And I don't really recall what exactly we were talking about, but this would have to been right somewhere around the beginnings of this journey for me. ⁓ And They say, don't look like a mother. That hurt me, And then I'm thinking to myself, ⁓ I'm analyzing myself and I'm like, well, what am I supposed to, what does a mother look like? She didn't know anything about me. This is her just saying things. And I'm pretty sure if she knew my situation, I don't think she would have said that. Because I don't think she would have wanted to cause the harm. the hurt that her statements actually caused. It took some time, but... I released that. I rebuked that. was not for me. Okay. ⁓ All right. The statement that was said me, this one came from that I, I absolutely dearly. I was on the phone and we were chatting and this particular conversation I recall I was getting some news about something the person said, feel like I can't tell you when people are pregnant because you'll kill yourself. Why? about that before that ever comes out of your mouth to somebody, Consider that. And please don't ever let that come out of your mouth. ⁓ What made this statement so hurtful to me? is the fact that ⁓ what this person did not know is that happened to be in ⁓ lowest of the low in my journey to parenthood. At that time I did, I was considering contemplating thinking about just... And for them to have said that at that moment, at that time, first of all, thoughts that were coming up, When you're already in that space ⁓ there's this antagonistic and demonic force that's up against your life and it was saying yeah you should and again that does not edify or build up the kingdom of the lord right those words did not edify or build up Sometimes we do have to respond to these things in the moment. But notice I said respond and not react. things we just cannot let the dust settle. And that one I let the dust settle because I was so just blown away by the statement that anything I would have said out of my mouth. It would have been horrific. Because I was angry. I was really hurt. And were through the roof. But with time and me realizing that, people do not mean hurt us in the way that we're sometimes hurt by them. They don't. but there are those exceptions where sometimes these people do mean to hurt us but i really don't think this person is going to hurt me in the way that they did they also don't know the journey they didn't have the same or similar experience as me in their journey to parenthood right it happened differently for them Some of these things we need to sit with and some of these things we need to really reflect on why does this hurt me so badly like this? What is it? Is there something that I perceive or believe to be factual about what's being said? Okay, third statement. And it did not come from a doctor, Again, I'm getting my hair done. A person I do not know, it was not the same person who was doing my hair in my first statement They say, are not fertile. And again, I'm dramatic, so I'm just like... that to somebody again ⁓ on journey to parenthood? This person knew because I'm talking to her. I know I didn't use good discernment in this case because backing up you have to good discernment on who you're sharing your story with, who you're sharing your journey with. But they say me, ⁓ you're not fertile. ⁓ girl. Who are you? ⁓ And... could be super fertile. It don't mean that. Lack of fertility is the reason why I'm not a mom yet. That sat with me for some time. I thought about that. I wondered if that was true, The fourth statement that I have on my list that was said to me. a coworker. ⁓ they said your life doesn't mean anything until you become a parent. Wow. certainly does identify the Lord and certainly does not build up. one of the primary messages that the warrior in us intends to convey is that your life is filled with purpose and value and meaning without children. And the final. ⁓ or the fifth statement that I have on my list. And it wasn't necessarily communicated like this, but in so many words, and this was also said by somebody that I love You don't have children. What's your excuse for a messy house, forgetfulness, being late? Why don't you have time to do the things that you need to do when you don't have children, filling it up? Again, does not edify or build up anyone the journey to parenthood. And what want ⁓ just make sure express in these statements that from other people that were not things that I said to myself is because words can linger. We have to be really vigilant at and assessing the state of our heart. How's your heart? what happen is bitterness unforgiveness set in and then before you know it, you just don't like people at all. You don't like anybody. And you cannot thrive your journey or in life if you don't like people at all. I also stated that we can say or think things that impact our own selves negatively. a few the things that I ⁓ said or thought to myself my actions communicated ⁓ that to myself. The first if it hadn't happened by now, then won't happen for me. ⁓ the with that statement is it God in a box and it puts and parameters around. a God who not fit into any of our human parameters. God can do anything, all things, and... Certainly I know 40 year olds who've had babies. I know 50 year olds who've had babies. The Bible tells us that Sarah had a baby at 90. I another statement is ⁓ God didn't have it in the cards for me. How on earth would I know what God has in the cards for me when I haven't lived out my entire life? How I'm gonna know that it wasn't in the cards for me is when I am about to take my last breath. That's how I'm gonna know that it wasn't in the cards for me. Until then, it's always in the cards, We cannot limit God. God is magnificent. Words that ⁓ don't even have in my vocabulary, so we cannot limit God. And that I that I use to hurt was You're so desperate to be a mother. That's offensive, okay? And as I process that statement, that's offensive because it indicates or suggests that you're not hurting in your journey, that your pain is fake, that you're not suffering. you're just desperate. what it does do is it and we can't do that. We cannot dismiss. We cannot overlook. ⁓ You already feel that way in this journey anyway, right? So you add to it by saying things that feed into this and this lie you don't matter, you're not that you're not worthy, that you're insignificant, that... So, should we do? ⁓ if we want to thrive. Well, we've got to change the narrative. We've got to change the tune. We have to change the channel, right? We have to change what we receive and How do we do that? How did I do that? How I changed a channel is I'm getting more scripture into my heart and my mind. A few years ago, I heavily on Psalm that just my go-to and it helped me with a lot of things and... ⁓ That's the one that I got in there, right? So we have to change the narrative I just repeated and there were many, there were several. I memorized and reviewed and re-meditated on scriptures they came to me. Maybe I was to a sermon ⁓ or something, some other podcast and then that scripture just really ⁓ sat with me. scripture helps me the most. I've tried affirmations stuff like that and those things fine but scripture really just did something for me especially as I grow in ⁓ my intimacy my relationship with my heavenly father and and I'll take His word as truth for my life. It just like breaks down for me. And my prayer for everyone, for all of us. Right now. ⁓ I am on Isaiah 55. Now this is my get through scripture right now. Isaiah 55, okay? Now I won't read all of Isaiah 55. I'll just read specifically where, what really just does it for me. And as I put these words, as I put God's words in my heart and my mind, and I meditate on these things, I don't have time to think about other things. I don't have time to hold on to the things that people say that are not true. And nor do I want to because the Lord's word always edify and always builds up. So I'd rather stay here. I'd rather stay here. But Isaiah 55, I love verses 10 through 11. this is again the new American Standard Bible. For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there without watering the earth and making it bare and sprout and furnishing the sea to the sower and the bread to the eater, so will my word which goes forth from my mouth. It will not return to me empty. without accomplishing what I desire and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it. I love it. And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it. word never fails. What God has set in motion, what God intends to do, is gonna do it and shall be done. And that's where I choose to sit in my journey to parenthood right now. That builds me up and it certainly edifies the Lord, it's his words. else that we should do When we have when we're faced words that hurt we need to acknowledge That it hurts I'm not saying that this what these things words will not hurt. ⁓ They're still going to But ⁓ Rebuke the words that don't edify and that do not build up. Rebuke those things. Reject them. I don't receive that. Thank you, but no thank you. You can keep that. Be now, okay? But you can keep that. I am fertile. I do look like a mother. My life is purpose-filled, valuable, and I'm worthy without children today. ⁓ Another or the one another important thing that we should do this journey is to surround ourselves with people who will. Speak life into your journey. People who will speak things that edify and build up in your journey. Those people will find you. Be open. Be intentional in those relationships and. Try to surrender and just let go of, try not to hold on too long to the words that will come that still hurt. And I do that these starting will help us all tremendously, Even though ⁓ I wouldn't that I'm still in the dark of the journey or I'm certainly not there today, I still need to do all these things. I still do all of these things because I'm still on the journey to parenthood and... There's always going to be opportunity for things to come in and for things to hurt, but... I don't have to live in hurt. don't have to live with that hurt. I don't have to let it fester and I don't have to ruminate on it. I don't have to allow it to create unforgiveness and bitterness in my heart and in my life. And ⁓ people not mean to hurt us It may hurt our heart, may hurt us physically, emotionally, people don't mean to do that. lot of people do not mean to do that. So, release the offense. Let's forgive and remember that we are who God says we are. Let's believe His words over the words of others and own Thank you so much for listening and watching if you're watching. I would love it if you are on the journey to parenthood and you want to, you don't have to, if you want to. If there's anything that was discussed or brought up or any thought that you want to expand on or share based on this episode, please email us. Email us your prayers, We love, pray for people. Let us know maybe an experience that you had and how you ⁓ that situation and how you overcame hurt and forgave so that you could thrive in your journey. next time, ⁓ be well. Thank you so much. ⁓