TWIU Episode 9: The B Word!

Renee Royal-Spencer: Okay, so Foundational scriptures are going to come from Proverbs. I'm gonna pull a little bit something from Hebrews just to help with ⁓ the explanation and context of bitterness, all right. If we go back and we look at... Hannah's which we talked about in detail ⁓ the is the Lord series. I forget which episode it was, but it was in one of them. Watch them all. ⁓ right. struggled with bitterness because ⁓ had somebody was antagonizing her. ⁓ And ⁓ it wasn't just All right. Even if you don't have anybody antagonizing you, you can still. What's up, warriors, ladies, gentlemen, I'm excited and happy to be back. Happy you're back. Hope you're back. Hope we have some new people tuning in, getting helped, and thriving. All I ⁓ am back with really hard topic. fall into the trap of bitterness in this journey. All right. So Proverbs 14 and 10, It reads the heart knows its own bitterness and no stranger shares in its ⁓ joy. If you're on the journey to parenthood or if you've ever been on that journey, all right, and that journey looks or looked dark, desolate and debilitating, then you should very familiar with what I'm going to be talking about today. Get to it. All right. I'm to it. OK, bitterness. All right. We're talking about bitterness. We got to watch out for this thing because this thing is wants to be bitter? wants to be bitter? 14 10 tells what it tells me that bitterness affects the heart. Okay. And then Hebrews 12 15 it says see to it that ⁓ no ⁓ one falls short the of God ⁓ and that no bitter root up to cause trouble and defile many. ruthless. This thing is a killer. Okay. And it's so important and we may have multiple episodes to come because bitterness it sucks and drains the hope, life, the peace, the joy. Remember I said earlier that bitterness is vicious and it could destroy everything that you put your hands to? Yeah, that is what Hebrews 12 and 15 is telling us, okay? And it tells us that nothing good comes from bitterness, right? ⁓ It only defiles, it ⁓ destroys, it only devastate, it only divides, right? Nothing good, ⁓ nothing good comes from everything up out of you. And if you're not careful, it can kill you. Okay. It can kill you. And so we have to just do multiple things to make sure that this thing, bitterness, it's not what causes destruction in our lives. And you know, The Warrior Us desires to help people on this journey thrive. When the journey looks dark, it looks desolate, looks debilitating. We want you to thrive. OK. And because we want you to thrive, the purpose of this episode. is to just let you know that you cannot thrive with bitterness. Okay. So looking at what is the bitterness in a little bit more detail and how do we spot bitterness? Okay. So there's a scripture in Romans 13 and I'm going to read it and it reads their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness. Another challenge was, challenge was It can cause heart disease. And at the end of the day, it can kill us, okay? Because ⁓ according to most studies, heart disease is the number one killer of people in America. It can cause heart ⁓ at the end of the day, it kill us, okay? Because according to most studies, heart disease is the number one killer of people in America. And it's just a part of a scripture, right? And there's more to it. Go read all of of Romans, of course. But I pulled that out because explains this verse in a way that ⁓ helps to ⁓ helps us to understand that is is ⁓ ⁓ So we're gonna go through ⁓ our foundational scriptures, right? I'm gonna talk a little bit more about what bitterness is. and also bitterness can lead to pain and I want to just talk about the issue of heart disease. find it really just And also bitterness can lead to pain. And I wanted to talk about the issue of art. I find it really just amazing in a way. ⁓ the signs to spot it, okay, what it looked like for me, how I addressed and how I addressed and continue to address this bitterness thing, what I do to take it captive and recommendations that I have for anyone that's on this journey and who needs help with taking this thing captive, because you can do it, all right? So without further delay, okay, let's get into it. amazing in a way. ⁓ It's emotional hostility, wrath, anger. Google agrees that wrath is, I'm sorry, is anger. And it can be defined as disappointment, resentment, displeasure, hatred, acrimony, jealousy, envy. whew. I don't know about you, but I don't want any of that. All right, I don't want any of that because. I was bitter towards God as And if you I said it. was bitter towards God as well. And if you ⁓ I said it. that heart disease is the number one killer of Americans, right? that heart disease is the number one killer of Americans, right? Bitterness is vicious. So of course, our relationship with the Lord was impacted. I just look like me, bitter towards the Lord of Lords, King of Kings, not me. I'm not bitter towards the because who wants to admit that, a Christian who believes in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Bitterness is vicious so of course ⁓ my relationship with the Lord was impacted, I just was like me bitter towards the Lord of Lords, King of Kings, not me. ⁓ Nope, I'm not bitter towards the Lord who wants to admit that, right? ⁓ a Christian. We can't thrive with any of that. AI says bitterness is characterized as an emotional state that is driven by accumulated anger, resentment, who believes in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. When you're that kind of person, you don't want to admit that When you're that kind of person, you don't want to admit that. And ⁓ I a of us struggle with bitterness. you're being honest, I see a lot of people dealing with bitterness in America, especially in ⁓ the job. ⁓ see a of bitterness, all right? So that's one ⁓ thing. And then we know that, And ⁓ I think a of struggle with bitterness. ⁓ If we're being honest, I see a lot of people dealing with bitterness in America, especially in ⁓ the job that I do. see a lot of bitterness, all right? So that's one thing. And then when we know that, You're angry with- You're angry with God. And another challenging one was when you have a history of past trauma. And another challenge of mine was when you have a history of past trauma and offense and hurt, those things just, they take root. and and hurt those things ⁓ they take root sadness, often stemming from past experiences, unfair treatment, and a sense of injustice towards oneself. And we have some things that you can look out for, right? That lets you know that you might be dealing with that root of bitterness, all right? And that is ⁓ a negative outlook, right? You see everything negatively. The Bible tells us that bitterness impacts the heart. It's a root in the heart, right? And I just wonder, if somebody needs to do some research or if there's research already, I would love to know about it. link between heart disease and And I can almost bet you that there will be a high rate of bitterness held The Bible tells us that bitterness impacts the heart. It's a root in the heart, right? And I just wonder if somebody needs to do some research or if there's research already, I would love to know about it. the link between heart disease and ⁓ And I can almost bet you there will be a high rate of bitterness ⁓ held So naturally, you're angry, right? feels natural to you, right? Like, I'm angry. I wake like that, you know? ⁓ then all the other things, ⁓ Impatience, criticism, depression, hypersensitivity, intolerance, all these things. You of feel like, So naturally you're angry, Anger natural to you, right? Like, I'm angry. I wake like that, you know? ⁓ then all the other things, Impatience, criticism, ⁓ depression, hypersensitivity, intolerance, all these things, you kind feel like, Like you find nothing good about nothing. And the first thing that comes to your mind with anything in anything is negativity. among people with heart disease. I will never forgive them. How many times have you heard that? I will never forgive them. How among people with heart disease I will never forgive him. How times have we heard that? I will never forgive them. Let's make a note of that. OK, if that's coming up for you and it's OK. All right. No judgment. The next thing the next thing that you could look at or that might be an indication that you're dealing with bitterness is grudges. You hold grudges. You cannot forgive. You don't forgive. Everybody is subject to your mercy. because they can be a result of other things. because they can be a result of other things. You don't really think of this bitterness. So you see how all these things are interconnected and related. you don't really think like, that's bitterness until you see how all these things are interconnected and related. And other variation right how many I mean I think about it just this week. heard that I will never forget And it's like wow Mmm, you sure about that. I don't do more harm to you than them Okay, ⁓ hopefully is nothing that they can do other variation of that, right? How many times, mean, I think about it just this week, I heard that. I will never forgive him. And it's like, wow. ⁓ You sure about that? That's gonna do more harm to you than them. Okay? ⁓ And there is nothing that they can do. You're the judge of all judges and you know everything. And you know, if somebody did you wrong, they got to pay and you're not satisfied until they pay. I just want to say right here, Nothing could ever do to them, nothing that they could ever do to, repay you will satisfy the debt is no thing that any human can do to repay you for the harm that they've caused you by their actions and their behavior. Only God can repay you because only God can feel that wound, that that or that hole. What they took, only God can give it back. They can never give back what they took. They can never give back. Peace. There is no thing that any human can do to repay you for the harm that they've caused you ⁓ by their ⁓ actions and their behavior. ⁓ Only God can repay only God can feel wound, that void, that hole, ⁓ what they took. Only God can give it back. can never give back what they took. They can never give back. the hurt, the pain, the offense caused. so. Let that help us and let that sink in as we really just consider. Do we hold any of these characteristics right? ⁓ course, another characteristic is anger and irritability, right? You always mad They can never give back and not completely, right? Only these things can come from the Lord. They can never give back safety certainly not to be completely right. Only these things can come from the Lord. Every little thing make you mad, Somebody walking outside down the street with a smile on their face. You mad. ⁓ Now ⁓ No, on now. That is really problematic, okay? If that's you, it's okay. We gonna get it together, all right? sign that you may be dealing with bitterness is that you are envious you're envious and you're jealous. Unfortunately, these are two things are so interconnected with bitterness, right? So interconnected. can't date. So anyway, ⁓ and going to pain. anyway, then going to pain. Usually if you, if you suffer suffering with bitterness, you're usually suffering with these other two things, right? and then another sign bitterness that you might be dealing with it is that you're always the victim. You always have somebody to blame. Somebody else ⁓ is always the problem. Somebody else is always the issue. It's never you. did this to me. I'm hurt because of them. I'm hurt because of that. Pain is one that I think really just started to wear me down because pain started off small, right? Maybe something in my shoulder, right? Like, all right, you know, it'll go away, right? Then something in my side, then something in my foot, and then something in my chest. Pain is one that I think really just started to wear me down because pain started off small, right? Maybe something in my shoulder, right? And I'm like, all right, ⁓ know, it'll go away, right? something in my side then something in my foot and then... ⁓ We have to be careful because again, when bitterness has been... We have to be careful because again when bitterness sets in... risk ⁓ of destruction ⁓ really just ⁓ when we're dealing this root of bitterness. ⁓ And some ⁓ that, or should say some health impacts that bitterness causes. Everything at risk of destruction ⁓ and really just devastation when dealing with this ⁓ root of bitterness. ⁓ And ⁓ some ⁓ things or should ⁓ some... something in my chest and then it's like, ⁓ my goodness, I'm feeling a lot of pain everywhere. And I remember going to doctors. I remember going to doctors and then telling them about these things and you know, and ⁓ some of them saying, ⁓ it looks perfect. Nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong, but I'm in all this pain. What kind of sense that make? Then it's like, oh my goodness, I'm feeling a lot of pain everywhere. And I remember going to doctors and telling them about these things. And some of them say, oh, it looks perfect. Nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong. What kind of sense does make? health impacts that bitterness causes, okay? First of all, bitterness causes depression. We heard that in the list. when you're in that victimhood, you're typically in a place where you're just hopeless, right? Like you have no hope for nothing. And then there's anxiety. Okay, first of all, bitterness causes depression. We heard that in the list. when you're in that victimhood, you're typically in a place where you're just hopeless, right? Like you have no hope for nothing. ⁓ And then there's anxiety. we... You have no control. did it to you. You're powerless. Help me. ⁓ Another sign that you might be dealing with bitterness is unresolved hurt. You could be going about your day and you might still write. You might be dealing with other things on this list. And then you just think about something that. ⁓ man, I'm just laughing because it's so real. You just think about something that. ⁓ Patricia did to you in a fifth grade. I just remember was like one pain after another coming. ⁓ the one that really just stuck out to me was the pain that ⁓ would feel in my chest. And I felt like that pain was in my heart. Very strange. I don't know ⁓ it's like to have a heart attack or anything like that related to that. Bye. Just remember. It was like one pain after another coming. And the one that really just stuck out to me was the pain that I will feel in my chest. And I felt like that pain was in my heart. Very strange. I don't know what it's like to have a heart attack or anything like that related to the heart. Thank you, Jesus. But I felt like this pain was in my heart. 99 % of us knows what anxiety is. But anxiety is worry about things that we have no control over in simple terms. I'm not a professional, I'm not a medical professional, all right. But it's really ruminating on something that we have no control over. 99 % of us knows what anxiety is, but anxiety is worry about things that we have no control over in simple terms. I'm not a professional, I'm not a medical professional, all right. But it's really ruminating on something that we have no control over. that just burns you up. And when you sit there and you think about it right then and now, you just mad all over again. You see, that's how bitterness works. Bringing up things this helpful for us, Because Thank you, Jesus. But I felt like this pain was in my heart. when you're in pain, you try to resolve the pain, right? Anyway, I was not able to resolve the pain for doctors, okay? so naturally when you're in pain you try to resolve the pain, right? Anyway, I was not able to resolve the pain with doctors, okay? need to know what is weighing you down. You need to know what is making you angry. You need to know ⁓ things in the past have made you angry so that you could address them so that they could be resolved right then and there. ⁓ You don't wanna, we don't wanna be living life with baggage from the past, okay? You cannot thrive with baggage from the past, okay? And another... ⁓ So I do need to take care of it myself. And also, I now know that the pain that I've dealt with in my body, it was related to bitterness. Absolutely it was related to trauma. All these things are connected. But they were more so like, So I have to, I do things to take care of it myself. And also I now know that. I heard two real good explanations for what depression and anxiety is. I've heard depression is sadness about what happened in the past or what didn't happen in the past. And anxiety is a fear over what may or may not happen in the future. And these are all valid. They have diagnoses. Some people need to take medication. So we're not, we're not. her two real good explanation for what depression and anxiety is. I've heard depression is ⁓ sadness about what happened in the past or what didn't happen in the past. And anxiety is a fear over what may or may not happen in the future, right? And these are all valid, like they have diagnosis for these things. Some people need to take medication. And so we're not, The pain that I've dealt with in my body, it was related to bitterness. Absolutely it was related to trauma. All these things are connected for me. But they were more so like... indication that you might be dealing with bitterness is you have relationship problems. % of your relationships, they're struggling because you got this root that that's in your heart that you to address and you to get it out. Okay. we're not passing any kind of judgment or anything like that for this. This is just me telling you how bitterness and resentment can ⁓ impact the body. And ⁓ bitterness can also cause ulcers. Bitterness can cause ⁓ gastrointestinal issues. that happens with any kind of judgment or anything like that for this. This is just me telling you how bitterness and resentment can impact the body. And bitterness can also cause ulcers. Bitterness can cause gastrointestinal issues. musculoskeletal, if that makes sense. That's even the right word. Wasn't necessarily something wrong with organs or anything. Actually, matter of they did tell me something was going on with tissue in my shoulder. But there was nothing that could be done to resolve it. You know what I mean? We tried things. I cared things with the medical providers. And the issues were not resolved. ⁓ musculoskeletal, ⁓ if that makes sense, if that's even right ⁓ Wasn't necessarily something wrong with ⁓ organs or anything. matter of fact, they did me something was going on with tissue in my shoulder. But there was nothing that could be done to resolve it. You know what I mean? We tried things. I tried things with medical providers and the issues were not resolved. ⁓ So yes, your relationships are impacted. Of course, and that's not surprising to us, right? Of course, relationships are going to be impacted. Remember I told you the root of bitterness is vicious. It is vile, it is nasty. And it kills everything that you put your hand to. Everything that you're involved in. The root of bitterness has the ability to kill it, okay? So, okay, then I start getting in a lot of medical debt and I'm like, I'm not doing this anymore. Uh-uh, no. So, I just said, you know, maybe I'm just supposed to be in this pain like this. You know, but the pain that really concerned me the most was the pain in the heart. The pain in the heart, because I just was thinking like, I don't want heart disease. I don't want a heart attack. I want to live. So, okay, then I started getting in a lot of medical debt and I was like, I'm not doing this anymore. Uh-uh, no. So, I just said, know what, I'm this a book for you. All right, so a little bit about my journey with this bitterness thing. You know, but the pain that really comes with it most is pain in the heart. Pain in the heart. Because I'll just just think, I don't want heart disease. I don't want a heart attack. I want to live, okay? ⁓ I've gotten to a place where I want to live my life. And... Okay, I've caught into a place where I want to live in my life and ⁓ So, just remember to do your work. I just want to take a moment because I'm sitting here. So then I just remember just doing work and I just want to take a moment because I'm sitting here. How did I discover that I was dealing with the root of bitterness? Well, And I've been trying to do. And I've been trying to just. Push. Push, I'm gonna push, but. Today, I have a of things going on today, a lot of things to do. And I really just kind of paid more attention to my body today. And I noticed that. Today, I had a lot of things go on today, had a lot of things to do. ⁓ And I really just kind of paid more attention to my body today. And I noticed that. I felt this sense, this pull, this tug to consider and accept that I was dealing with the root of bitterness. And this came maybe sometime in 2024, And I was like, I do not feel that pain in my chest anymore. Not like here, like not in my heart. I do not feel that pain in my chest anymore. Not like here, like not in my heart. I don't feel that. And I don't know for how long I have not felt that, it's the pain in my heart that really caused me to do even harder work. Again, because I was really... I don't feel that. And I don't know for how long I have not felt that, but it's the pain in my heart that really caused me to do even harder work. Again, because I was really worried about that heart disease and the heart attack, okay? I was really worried about these things, but I don't feel that pain. I don't think I'm dealing with no bitterness girl, not me. Somebody else maybe, you know, cousin, she dealing with bitterness. ⁓ No, you, ⁓ ⁓ Renee, you're dealing with bitterness. So anyway, what did I ⁓ I by doing research, like what is bitterness, right? And of course I to the Bible. heart disease and a heart attack. Okay. I was really worried. But I don't feel like it. And going to give credit, all of the credit to the Lord because I didn't see no doctor. Not about that. Then no doctor resolved that for me. But that pain is gone. I'm this ⁓ topic, I'm talking about pain because it's one of the ways that we're impacted, I'm going to give credit, all of the credit to the Lord. Because I didn't see no doctor. Not about that. Didn't know doctors put that for me. But that pain is going. I'm on this ⁓ right? I'm talking about pain because it's one of the ways we're impacted, I also went to Google and all these other things and I read books and and looked at YouTube videos and came across this book ⁓ called Bitterness the root that pollutes by Lou Priolo I believe is how to pronounce his last name. I don't know this author. I just found this book the book was like seven dollars Online ⁓ It's a short read, it's a really great read. to me, a book is $7 and it's got good, good things it, like ⁓ breakthrough things in it, like this book has. I just felt like the author didn't want price to be an issue for anybody to get the breakthrough that they need this area. with bitterness. right. So anyway, I started reading this book and he also gave symptoms of what bitterness is, right? And they included difficulty resolving conflicts, ⁓ acts of ⁓ withdrawal, outbursts ⁓ anger, biting suspicion and distrust, hypersensitivity, ⁓ Impatience, misuse of authority, depression, doubts regarding salvation. Well, I kind of was checking things off as I went down a list of symptoms that he had in this book, OK? And I just decided, you know what? All right, I'm going go ahead and accept that I'm dealing with the I'm dealing with the root of bitterness in my heart. like, Lord, you're right. You know, you're right, Lord. You're right. As He wasn't right when it first came to my mind, right? He was right. He's always right. Bitterness can lead to a lot of things and it impacts the body in horrific ways. So let's go on. How did I address the bitterness? All right, first of all, we started with the research. What is it? Then ⁓ I did an okay? Basically a checklist kind of thing, right? Do I have any of the... Bitterness can lead to a lot of things and it impacts the body in horrific ways. So let's go on. How did I address bitterness? All right. First of all, we started with the research. What is it? Then ⁓ I did an Okay. Basically a chest checklist kind of thing. Right. Like you were lower. So, so you know what? I'm a deal with it. I'm going to address it. I'm going to address it. And so I began to address it and it takes a lot. It takes a lot. It took a lot and it takes a lot often every day to continue to just make sure that that bitterness root is uprooted and remains uprooted. All right. So ⁓ Do I have any of these things that this book says that does bitterness? Right? ⁓ And then ⁓ acknowledging ⁓ struggling. struggling. And then the next thing we have to do, the most critical thing that I had to do, I had to act. I had to do something about it because it was either And then acceptance acknowledging I'm struggling I'm struggling and then the next thing we have to do the most critical thing that I had to do I had to act I had to do something because it was either It was a struggle for me. Everything around me will continue to right? And including my marriage that I don't want to do, right? my relationship with the Lord will continue to suffer and I would not get where I want to go and be with the Lord. All other relationships would be devastated. Everything around me will continue to right? And including my marriage I don't want to die, right? my relationship with the Lord will continue to suffer and I would not get where I want to go and be with the Lord. all other relationships would be devastated if I didn't do anything to address ⁓ this bitterness, right? And again, ⁓ ⁓ of the definitions from the to AI says bitterness dealing with anger, ⁓ didn't do anything to address this bitterness, right? ⁓ And again, ⁓ all of the ⁓ from the to AI say is dealing with ⁓ anger, unforgiveness, wrath. unforgiveness, wrath, hostility, okay? And so naturally you gotta ask, myself, what am I angry about? hostility. Okay? And so naturally you gotta ask what am I angry about? And that's a loaded question. That is a loaded question, right? And that's a loaded question. That is a loaded question, right? When you have things that have impacted your mental and emotional prior to dealing with the journey to parenthood and that thing is just horrific. when you have things that have impacted your ⁓ mental and emotional prior to dealing with the journey to parenthood and that thing being just horrific. There's some anger in there, right? There's some resentment in there. You know, like seven times out of ten. So I just, I just broke down the list. What am I angry about? What experiences have I had in my life that just come up for me randomly? Like, you know, could be in the middle of a conversation and just the thought just comes up about this thing that has happened to me. What is that thing? Because that's important, right? If this thing comes up like that. there's some anger in there, right? There's some resentment built up, you know, like seven times out of 10. So I just go down the list. What am I angry about? What experiences have I had in my life that just come up for me randomly? Like, you know, I could be in the middle of a conversation and then the thought just comes up about this thing that has happened to me. What is that thing? Because that's important, right? If this thing comes up like that. You know, like I mentioned, the person from the fifth grade, if that just randomly comes up and it comes up often, then... You know, like I mentioned, ⁓ the person from the fifth grade, right? If that just randomly comes up and it comes up often, then... I think we could agree that I think we could agree that. That impacted me in way, and you gotta address it. You gotta do something about it, right? ⁓ That impacted you in a way and you got to address it. You got to do something about it, right? ⁓ How did I, how did I, again, what can you do about it? Well. How did I, again, what can you do about it? Well, you ask yourself, is the anger valid? Okay, now our church is currently journeying through ⁓ Unoffendable by ⁓ Brant Hansen and according to him, no anger is valid. You asked yourself, the anger valid? Okay, ⁓ church is currently journeying to Unaffendable by Brant Hanson and according to him, no anger is valid. Only God has the right to... Only God has the right to ⁓ act out anger because God knows everything, right? He knows motives, He knows hearts. so only God has that. We don't. And so... act out anger because God knows everything. He knows motives, knows heart. So only God has that. We don't. What has been helpful for me is really just seeing people, trying to see number one, see people the way that I might see myself, ⁓ Like, for example, has been helpful for me is really just seeing people, trying to see number one, see people the way that I might see myself, Like, for example, sure I would have compassion for myself, ⁓ Or try to see myself ⁓ in right? Like, what if I was them? I will probably have some compassion for myself. What if my friend came to me and was talking to me about this and how would I want my friend to respond, right? ⁓ And I'm sure I would have compassion. Or I try to see myself in them. Right, like, what if I was them? I would probably have. ⁓ What if my friend came to me and talking to me about this? How would I want my friend to respond? Right? And then other way that has helpful to interpret people's behaviors and the things that they do is basically has been helpful to interpret people's behaviors in a way that they do is basically Looking at them from the lens I got looks at me, right? And you. And I believe that. Looking at them from the lens that God looks at me, right? And you. And I believe that. The Lord looks at us with joy. The Lord sees the best in us. The Lord looks at us with joy. The Lord sees the best in us. He sees our potential for greatness, for His glory, right? And He knows, He sees why we have the struggles that we do, why we have done the things that we've done. And so it's having that compassion and then also humility. And I think about humility as needing God for everything and not looking at yourself as more highly than another. He sees our potential for greatness, for His glory, right? And He knows, He sees why we have the struggles that we do, why we have done the things that we've done. And so it's having that compassion and then also humility. And I think about humility as depending, you needing God for everything and not looking at yourself as more highly than another. Even that person who did a vile thing, to... Even that person who did a vile thing. have to... ⁓ do the work to Refrain from you and ourselves as better even that person right ⁓ Because I ⁓ I love that person too There's a scripture ⁓ coming to my mind it is not his will ⁓ Anyone to perish and I may not be saying do the work to refrain ⁓ viewing ourselves as better than even that person, right? ⁓ Because at the end of the day, God loves that person too. ⁓ There's a scripture ⁓ come into my mind. ⁓ is not His will ⁓ anyone to perish. And I may not be saying that right. It's not as well for anybody to care about, not even one of us. So I interpret that to mean that God loves all of us. All of us he loves ⁓ and all of us he wants best for. ⁓ It's not as well for anybody to perish, not any one of us, So I interpret that to mean that God loves all of us, ⁓ all of us he loves ⁓ all of us he wants best for. ⁓ We have to learn that for other people. have to see other people in that way. All right? So anyway, that's how I'm working. That's how I was working out this bitterness thing, so a lot of reflection. How have my actions impacted the relationship that I have with people? How have my actions impacted ⁓ We have to want that for other people. We have to see other people in that way. All right. So anyway, that's how I'm working out. That's how I was working out this bitterness so a lot of reflection. How have my actions ⁓ impacted the relationships that I with people? How have my actions ⁓ ⁓ limited the glory that God can get out of my life, right? ⁓ limited the glory that God can get out of my life, right? And that's what I want my life to be about. I want my life to be about God's glory. I want my life to be about God just getting and doing everything that He needed to, wanted to, planned, willed to do with my life. I don't want to be remembered for this bitter person, for being this bitter person. I don't want to be remembered for being this angry person. ⁓ I want to be light, so I want to be easy. I want to thrive. And... And that's what I want my life to be about. I want my life to be about God's glory. I want my life to be about God just getting in and doing everything that he needed, wanted, planned, willed to do with my life. I don't want to be remembered for this bitter person, for being this bitter person. I don't want to be remembered for being this angry person. ⁓ I want to be light. I want to be easy. I want to thrive. We deserve to do that. We deserve to do that. And it takes hard work, but it can be done. and it takes hard work, but it can be done. Addressing and being vigilant about ⁓ bitterness and adjusting that so it doesn't take root in your heart also requires us to change thoughts. Addressing and being vigilant about ⁓ bitterness and addressing that so it doesn't take root in your heart also requires us to change thoughts. You have to change how you're thinking about the situations that have caused you harm, caused you hurt and pain in the past, right? If we always play it from with us being the victim, then what is the only possible way that we can think about You have to change how you're thinking about the situations that have caused you harm or caused you hurt and pain in the past, right? If we always play it from with us being the victim, then what is the only possible way that we can think about that thing, that we're the victim and we've been unjustly harmed and hurt by that situation. Right. And the truth of the matter is we got to change that. What is another way we can look at that? What is another way that I can look at that rather than putting myself as the victim? What's helpful for me again is if I say, you know what? that we're the victim and we've been unjustly harmed and hurt by that situation. Right? And truth of the matter is we gotta, we gotta change that. What is another way we can look at that? What is another way that I can look at that rather than putting myself as the victim? What's helpful for me again is if I say, well, you know what? What if this person was my friend? Sometimes these things come to your face, right? Just being honest. Sometimes the offense comes from us. Sometimes it comes from our family members, all these things. So better than that, how has it possibly hurt somebody in the same way that this person has hurt me? Because none of us are perfect. None of us have gone through this life without offending somebody and hurting somebody. We all have. What if this person was my friend? And sometimes these things come from your friends, right? Just being honest. Sometimes the offense, comes from our friends. Sometimes it comes from our family members, all these things. So. Better than that, how have I possibly hurt somebody in the same way that this person has hurt me? Because none of us are perfect. None of us have gone through this life without offending somebody and hurting somebody. We all have. And so what have I done? know, what have I done to maybe do the same thing or call somebody to feel the same way? That is number one. Number two, I think about So what have I done? What have I done to maybe do the same thing or cause somebody to feel the same way? That is number one. Number two, I think about it is a sin to not forgive. And then another thing is You know, it's a sin to not forgive. You know? And then another thing is... I've been forgiven. You've been forgiven. been forgiven. You've been forgiven. Jesus paid the ultimate price for us. The ultimate price for us. And so it's like the least that I can do is do hard work to Jesus paid the ultimate price for us. The ultimate price for us. And so it's like the least that I can do is do hard work to release this person and to know that no matter what they did, they can't bring me back. So set my eyes on the Lord instead of focusing on what they're doing and what they have not done and what I feel like they should be doing. So I hope that you got something. To recap. release this person and to know that no matter what they did, they can't even pay me back. Right? So set my eyes on the Lord instead of focusing on what they're doing and what they have not done and what I feel like they should be doing. All right. So I hope that you got something. All right. To recap, how we address bitterness, all right? You have to assess and then you got to reassess, right? And you got to do that regularly, regularly because that thing is sneaky. It's really sneaky. You got to assess and evaluate how am I treating people? How am I responding to things? Am I responding or am I reacting? Right, how am I perceiving? How am I interpreting? how we address bitterness, all right? You have to assess and then you got to reassess, right? And you got to do that regularly, regularly because that thing is sneaky. It's really sneaky. You got to assess and evaluate how am I treating people? How am I responding to things? Am I responding or am I reacting? Right, how am I perceiving? How am I interpreting? reactions of others. Is it accurate? Right? Am I seeing the fruit of the spirit in my own life? Could other people see that they see the fruit of the spirit in my life? You know? And then, just a subject. If you see things and you see signs and symptoms of bitterness in your life, in your heart, it's okay. You know? Because... the actions of others. Is it accurate? Right? Am I seeing the fruit of the spirit in my own life? Could other people say that they see the fruit of the spirit in my life, you know? And then just accept it. If you see things and you see signs and symptoms of bitterness in your life, in your heart, it's okay, you know, because... Almost all of us will have had the same experience at some point or another in our lives, but what we don't want is for it to impact how we show up in this earth while we wait in the unknown journey of journey to parenthood because we don't know when the Lord is going to answer the prayer. We Almost all of us will have had the same experience at some point or another in our lives. But what we don't want is for it to impact how we show up in this earth while we wait in the unknown journey of ⁓ journey to parenthood because we don't know when the Lord is going to answer the prayer. We have to do the work to make sure that we're thriving in the meantime while we're waiting, right? Always. And again, being vigilant, right? Assess, reassess, similar. It's be vigilant, it's play the offense. So what could playing the offense look like? It's you continuing to learn about bitterness. We have to do the work to make sure that we're thriving in the meantime while we're waiting, right? Always. And again. being vigilant, right? Assess and reassess similar. It's be vigilant and you play the offense. So what could playing the offense look like? It's you continuing to learn ⁓ about bitterness and what that looks like and how that impacts the mind, the emotions, relationships, and what that looks like and how that impacts the mind, the emotions, relationships, and how it prevents you thriving. Again, bitterness is vile, it's vicious ⁓ how it prevents you thriving. Again, bitterness is vile, it's vicious ⁓ I believe it does nothing but what the enemy does. That's kill, steal, and destroy. Okay? So I hope you got something. All right. I hope you got something. I hope this helps you. I hope that you would assess and evaluate and consider and address and take action and be vigilant because your future. I believe it does nothing but what the enemy does and that's kill, steal, and destroy. Okay? So I hope you got something, all right? I hope you got something. I hope this helps you. I hope that you would assess and evaluate and consider and address and take action and be vigilant because your future. other people's your children's future, depends on you to act Do you want to pass on this to your kids? I sure don't. I love you and I will see you in the next episode. other people's future, your children's future, depends on you to act. Do you want to pass down bitterness to your kids? I sure don't. I love you and I will see you in the next episode, okay? until next time, be well. until next time, be well.